The title of this post might be a little contradictory with what I really want to discuss.
Toxic positivity in the writing community.
The reason I chose this topic it’s because I saw some tweets, and it made me realize we don’t talk about this enough.
Toxic positivity is seeing only the positive in everything and dismissing every negative emotion a person may or could have.
I want to reiterate that some people come with the best intentions and by no means I am trying to say don’t be positive. With that being said, I want to talk about an example that happened to me. (Not on Twitter)
I just had a partial rejection in my manuscript. It absolutely crushed me.
I had a friend of mine telling me that at least I had a partial request and she proceeded to compare me to others. She also pointed out that there are other writers that have never gotten that far compared as to how many books I have written and I could always self-publish.
Once my friend told me that, I felt ashamed for feeling sad about my rejection, because she was right. There are other writers that had never gotten a partial or a full. But then the more I thought about it, I just felt like my feelings were invalidated.
And if I had a nickel for every time someone has told me to self-publish… let’s just say I would be buying an ice cream cone already.
Where I am going with this: It’s okay to feel sad and want and have those feelings validated. It’s completely okay to put a stop in your plans and writing to take care of yourself.
As I mentioned before in previous posts: My therapy is writing and reading, but it doesn’t mean everyone else is the same.
So if you are going through something similar and you keep getting bombarded with: everything happens for a reason, you can always self-publish, you will get over it soon, you can always write a new book.
And this is making you feel worse: Try to tune it out.
I know people come with the best intentions, but just know all your emotions are valid.
Writing is hard, and the road to publishing is harder, in my opinion. Embrace your emotions no matter what they are and know that wherever you are in your writing journey, your words matter and your feelings matter.
As always, I leave you with a quote about this very topic:
“I always like to look on the optimistic side of life, but I am realistic enough to know that life is a complex matter.” Walt Disney.
Alexandra Garcia is an aspiring YA/NA Fantasy, Contemporary and Paranormal Romance author. She currently lives in Texas with her husband and 2 pups: Jett and Maggie. She is currently querying her 3rd manuscript and just like all her novels she is a constant work in progress.
You can find her here:
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